Monday, August 4, 2014

Surrender everything to Him

Bismillahirahmanirrahim,

Alhamdulillah untuk demam hari ke 3. hehe. Allah love me most.
still I can eat, i can blog, i can get free massage from Ibu ;')

To all that happen, must be something behind it. For example, this fever make me relax all day at home.
Otherwise, my time is work, homework, road, study etc..

This Ramadhan is really something special to me. I pray so hard that i can be more Istiqamah (consistent) in my decision. Be more forgettable & forgiveness to those that has hurt my feeling so bad. Be a good muslimah. Be a good Mom. Pray all the goodess for self & family. Truly, last year, i had the most challenged year. I'm trauma for what had happen to me cause I never expect it to come. I can't see certain car. I can't heard certain word. I can't see certain face. Oh gosh. that is terribly so not me.
It's easy to say until you yourself face it.

I tried very hard to forget. tried very hard not to think about it. But it keep coming back. Damn. i hate it.
I tried to show that i'm strong. nothing happen. Little that i know. I'm Human. People that hurt me are Human too. I can't punish them. It's not my job at all.

But there is a moment, the revenge strike my heart. With all the evidence, i believe i can win. And there is a voice ask me to speak up, bring it to the Authority, don't let people step on me, they deserve a lesson, etc2.

Few days later, there is small voice ask me to just let it be. Surrender all to Him. He know what to do. Allah swt Maha Adil right?

The voice is like take turn. I wonder how they alternate the job?? -____-

My close friend always advise me not to be so "Nice" to people. Because most of the time, they take thing for granted. Yes, I did tried.  At first, yeah the spirit is like !@#$, but then i did realized I'm not happy with it. It wasn't me at all.

I'm clueless.

Until this Holy Ramadhan come. So grateful that i still can see them ;')

I see where I'm about to do now.

And until yesterday morning, come back from Raya. my must do morning session beside reading my email is visit my favourite blogger page. (shhhesss, i'd been her silent reader all this while)

 "Forget the small petty things that annoy you, focus on the good moments and wanting to just be happy in this life. Everything is in God’s hands and we don’t know how long we have left in this world before we return back to Him forever. So let’s just focus on doing the good and leaving the bad, submitting to Him and pray that you and your loved ones get a place in Jannah where you will reside forever."

thanks V

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